


stay with me (for a little longer)

by postmoderne



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Bit of Fluff, F/M, Future Fic, M/M, bit of angst, bit of smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-16
Updated: 2015-04-18
Packaged: 2018-02-17 16:14:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2315627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/postmoderne/pseuds/postmoderne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Out of the band, I always thought we had the strongest bond.", Niall whispers then timidly, fingers playing with Harry's. "I thought that maybe--"<br/>"Yeah, I know.", Harry hums and he knows.</p><p>(or the one where Harry and Niall meet again after seven long years).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. stay with me (for a little longer)

***

He hasn't really aged, Harry realises as he lays his eyes on him. His hair isn't blond anymore, though, it's a nice dark brown and it's his real hair colour. He has stubble on his chin and more crinkles around his eyes and while all that makes him look older, his eyes haven't lost their youth. They're still the same vibrant blue and they still hold the same enthusiastic sparkle in them. He's still happy. As happy as he's always been. He hasn't changed at all, Harry thinks, and smiles and knows that it isn't true.  
They've all changed. A lot.

Harry doesn't know what to do with himself, not after seven years of literally nothing.  
"Niall?", he croaks and takes a step towards the Irishman, who looks up, surprised.  
"Harry?", he replies, eyes big in wonder and even after all this time it's so damn familiar to Harry, that he isn't able to breath for a moment and just stares. He stares until he feels a warm and comforting hand on his shoulder and he blinks.  
"Niall, I--", he thought he'd be stronger than this but he very obviously isn't and Niall's there, has his arms wide open and he smiles and it's so familiar, just like in old times, so Harry lets himself fall into those arms, lets himself get hugged and caressed and it's when he notices how much he missed this, missed Niall.

He wants to scream, but he only holds Niall tighter to his body, crushing him, just feeling the need to keep him, to keep Niall, keep what he knows, what's been his family, what's been such a big part of his life and he missed this, he missed this so much.  
"Niall, Niall, Niall, Niall", he whispers and feels the tears stream down his face and he almost laughs at that thought, a lyric quote, fucking everything in these seven years has been like a quote, like words he knows, words he wrote, words he sang and shouted and words he got paid for.

"It's alright, Harry, it's alright", Niall breathes into his ear and he's heard these words before, he's heard them at the X Factor, he's heard them after he fucked up What Makes You Beautiful, he's heard them so often from Niall, but also everyone else and he can't believe it, can't believe what happened.  
"I missed you, Niall", he sobs into the still smaller man's shoulder. "Missed you so much."  
"I missed you, too, Haz", Niall says and rubs his back. "I missed you, too."

Harry presses his face into Niall's shoulder, wetting his shirt. It doesn't matter, the only thing that matters is Niall, the only thing that ever mattered was Niall. He clings to the Irish man as if he is his last straw before he loses sanity and maybe he is. Maybe he's always been.

"Shhh...", Niall soothes him, placing a gentle hand on the back of his head. "Let's go home."  
At first Harry doesn't understand because this, Niall, feels like home, but he lets the other man draw him along into a car anyway.

 

***

"None of you ever called", Niall says quietly and runs his fingers through Harry's hair. "I tried. You know I tried. None of you called me back."  
Guilt doesn't describe what Harry feels at Niall's words, not in the slightest. He hates himself, he always hated himself for not replying Niall. He gulps loudly. "I'm so--"  
"Don't", Niall sighs and twists a stray curl of Harry's around his finger. "Just don't."  
They sit in a love seat in Niall's house, huddled together as if they've never been separated, as if seven years hadn't passed.

"I'm 28. I'm... I'm fucking 28 years old.", Niall snorts and looks at his hand in Harry's hair. "I still remember all of your birthdays. I tried to forget but I couldn't."  
"I know you don't want to hear it but I really am so fucking sorry, Niall", Harry says and takes Niall's hand out of his hair into his own, entwining their fingers. "I should've called... but I was so angry, I was so-- so goddamn--"  
"It's not. It's not your fault... not entirely. We all are to blame... but... I can't believe we just broke up, you know? After five years of being a band. I mean, I know that boybands never... hold on for the long run... but-- but--"

***

"Perrie and Zayn are divorced again, you know? His drug problems...", Harry tells Niall after a while, who only shoots him a glare. "Oh yeah... you knew. Uhm. Louis' daughter is... and Liam... he's..."  
"I know all of this Harry, I know all of this, who do you think I am? I thought you knew me? I haven't changed, Harry, I still care about you all."  
Niall's harsh words cause a long silence and Harry ran out of words, apparently.

"Sorry, Harry, it's just--", Niall sighs and buries his face in his hands. They're still as calloused from all the guitar playing as they used to be and Harry remembers that Niall's a songwriter now.  
"No, it's fine, Niall, you don't have to apologise for... anything."  
Niall looks at him silently and hums.

***

Niall is still tragically beautiful, Harry thinks and a lump forms in his throat. Niall is still pale and delicate, has still these freckles, has still these elvish ears, which are a little bit pointy at the end, giving him something fairy-like. He always loved Niall's ears somehow, can't exactly explain why, but he liked them, liked to pull him by his ears jokingly. Banter.

He doesn't know what to say, what to tell Niall. He doesn't want to bring anything up, that's too risky for whatever they have at the moment. He doesn't want Niall to leave his life again, just like that. He couldn't bear it anymore. Again.

"Out of the band, I always thought we had the strongest bond.", Niall whispers then timidly, fingers playing with Harry's. "I thought that maybe--"  
"Yeah, I know.", Harry hums and he knows. "It's just-- when we broke up, I didn't want to see any of you for a while-- I saw you... you called and texted me, but-- I haven't been ready to reply just yet and the more time passed... time passed and-- I just didn't find the courage to reply anymore, it's been too long-- I should've, I should've replied sooner, I know, I--"

"Yes. It's. Maybe I should've tried harder, too? Maybe I shouldn't just've given up on you all, I mean, we've been friends for such a long time and-- but I was hurt, too, you know? It's not been--", Niall says and his voice is heartbreaking, weak and hoarse, on the edge of tears.  
Harry gulps heavily. Silence.

"We could... catch up now? Make up? Get better.", Harry utters then and lifts their hands up to his lips, to kiss each of Niall's fingers. He's not sure why he does it, but it feels like the right thing to do.  
"Hmh", Niall agrees softly. "We could try. It's so strange. It's been so strange the first few months after our break-up. No more concerts, rehearsals, all of that just vanished. It was... No more interviews about the band. No more seeing you guys on almost a daily basis. I don't know. It's been a-- time."

Harry nods in silent agreement.

"They've invited me to interviews after One Direction. Probably to bring up utter bullshit, what they think was the truth, the media. They wanted me to say shit about you guys, how horrible it was... but it wasn't. I never-- I never went to any of those interviews. It felt like betraying all and everything we stood for."

Harry nods again, he understands, he's received these sorts of invitations, too. Sometimes he thought about going, he wanted to know what they wanted to know, what the media thought of the band break-up, but he always decided against going. Every single time.

For the fans, the break-up has been a mess. It's been worse than with Take That, it's probably been worse than any band break-up before. Harry balls his hands into fists and squeezes his eyes shut. He doesn't want to think about it anymore.

"Liam went to an interview, didn't he?", Niall cringes lightly and looks anywhere but at Harry. "I've watched it. He's always been a little impulsive, hasn't he?"  
Harry doesn't reply. They don't talk about it any longer.

Suddenly, a new voice joins them. "Dad? Who's that?"  
Harry sits up straight and turns around, seeing a little boy peeking through the door crack. His eyes are just as blue as Niall's are, yet Harry can't believe it. "Is that..?"  
"My son, yeah. Come here Colin, I want you to meet an old friend of mine, Harry.", Niall lifts his feet off the sofa and puts them onto the floor, holding his arms out for the little boy.

The child - Colin Horan - runs clumsily towards Niall and jumps into his arms, throwing his around his father's neck. Colin looks at Harry out of clear eyes, kind of curious, kind of warily as if Harry's there to steal his dad from him.

"Hi", Harry says with a smile and reaches out to shake hands, but Colin isn't having any of that.  
"His hair's weird, Dad.", the kid mumbles, making Niall laugh out loud.  
"That it is, always been", the man agrees and pats his son's back lovingly. "But don't you want to say hello to Harry?"

Colin whines but gets himself to turn away from his father's chest to glance at the strange other guy again. "'ello.", is all he says before he slides down Niall's lap and dashes through the door as fast as his tiny child legs allow. "Your mum is going to pick you up soon, don't forget, Cols!", Niall shouts after him. He gets a muffled grunt in reply.

"I didn't know you had-- I wasn't aware-- he-- he looks just like you, Niall.", Harry says then and stares at his former band mate in awe. Niall sighs, exhausted. He shrugs.  
"Yeah, I think he does. He lives with his mother most of the time, though. She says I'm too busy to care for Cols all the time. She may be right, but...". He shrugs once again.

"When did it happen?", Harry blurts out all of a sudden and regrets it just seconds later. "I mean, uhm, how old is Colin?"  
If Niall's offended, he doesn't say anything. "Four and a half years old. His mother is Hannah Shackle, you might've heard about her in the press or something. We've been together since a few months after One Direction, I think.", he says calmly. "I thought she was the one. I wanted to marry her, but things got a little... difficult. Then Colin came.", he stops.

Harry's not sure what to do. What to say. Where to look. So he looks at Niall, stares at him, confused and surprised. He has heard about Niall's girlfriend Hannah, has seen them going on dates and being papped. She's a pretty dark-haired girl, Harry remembers, but they've kept to themselves, Niall and Hannah, there were rumours that she's been sporting a baby belly, yet those have been just rumours after all. Real rumours, apparently. Harry can't believe he didn't get to know this. Nobody has.  
Not the media, not the fans.  
Not Louis, not Liam, not Zayn.

"You... you have a child. That's great. I'm really happy for you, Niall. You're a father--", Harry says after a while of silently staring at the other man's profile. He hums.  
"I should look what Colin's doing, uhm-", Niall tells him and gets up, he leaves the room without another word. Harry stays where he is. He's not ready to leave this house, therefore he doesn't move until he hears laughter.

As careful as possible he stands up and follows Niall's footsteps, through the hallway towards a door with stickers glued on it. The door is open.  
He sees Niall lying on the floor, laughing the same laugh he's always laughed. Colin is sitting on his chest with an action figure in his hand, giggling happily.

Then there's a bell ringing and for a second, Harry sees Niall's face falling before he puts on a grin again. "Seems as if your mum's there to pick you up, Cols! Whoa!", he exclaims and tickles his son. That's only when Harry realises that there's another person in Colin's room. It's a middle-aged woman with kind eyes and she's sitting on the carpet, putting away some of Colin's toys.

She catches his eye when she looks up. "Oh, hello!", she greets him and Harry blushes deeply, because she causes Niall to notice him and turn around.  
Harry shuffles with his feet.  
"Mary-Ann, could you maybe--", Niall makes a gesture towards Colin and the door, Mary-Ann seems to understand.  
"Of course, of course. Come here, Colin, we're going to scare your mother a bit, yeah?", she smiles at the boy, who excitedly jumps off Niall's chest and grabs her hand, dragging her out of the room, squealing joyfully.

Harry watches Niall lay on the floor, his grin disappeared as soon as Colin left the room. They hear a door open and Colin shout "Boo!". A female voice pretends to be scared.  
"Oh my, Colin! Don't scare your mum like that!", it's Hannah, Harry guesses. Hannah Shackle, Niall said, right, they've never been married.  
"Where's your dad? I need to talk to him, alright? Ask Mary if she can make you a little snack for the ride."

Niall on the floor winces and gets up slowly, motioning Harry to come in and sit down on one of the tiny chairs.  
Hannah arrives in a hurry, brown hair flowing everywhere. She looks startled when she sees Harry, but doesn't give him much more than a swift glance.  
"Colin and I will be visiting my parents, just to let you know where we are.", she tells the father of her son and kisses him onto his cheeks, he puts his hands on her hips. Their current relationship doesn't seem hateful, Harry reckons that's a good thing.  
"I'll give you the keys to my flat, alright? I'd stay a little longer, but I still need to pack and you know me, I'm the worst at packing--", she grins. Niall grins back. Harry feels something clench inside his belly.

"Oh and I see you've been having a little band reunion? Hi Harry Styles!", she half-waves, kisses Niall's cheek again and with that, she's off.  
A short while later, they hear Mary-Ann shout goodbye and a door click shut.

"That's my family, I guess.", Niall says more to himself than to Harry, but the curly-haired man accepts it nonetheless.

***

Of course Hannah would recognise him, he's been famous, he's been in a band with her former boyfriend, hell, he still is famous. Even though he hates the word.  
"Are there any other people in your house or was that it?"

Niall chuckles. "That's it. We're all alone now.", and for some reason that makes Harry feel things. Niall's always been some kind of guy and Harry's never been exactly fully straight.  
"Nialler, I'm still sorry for the horrible band break-up-"

The former blond just shakes his head. "It's okay.", he says, even though they both know it isn't.  
Niall steps closer to the small chair Harry's sitting on. "This makes you look like a giant.", he grins as he towers above him.  
Harry snorts. "Then it's probably the perfect size for you, minimi.", he looks up cheekily. The other man only rolls his eyes and it's almost like in old times.

It gets quiet again and Niall's just staring contemplatively down at Harry.  
"Have you even gotten a haircut since the last time I saw you?  
Harry narrows his eyes. "I have, but you know I'm not into losing my hair. It's my treasure."

Then, unexpectedly, Niall sits down onto Harry's lap and takes the other bloke's face into his hands, leaning closer.  
"You're probably the only one who hasn't changed the tiniest bit.", he whispers and Harry knows who else they're talking about. The lads.  
Harry wants to disagree, but then there are Niall's lips on his, just a quick peck of dry lips. It means nothing, Harry realises, yet it means everything.

"I heard you're bringing out a new album?", Niall asks and gets off of Harry, who nods.  
"I've thought you'd be the Justin one. Frankly, everyone thought that, no secret."  
Harry doesn't really want to talk about it.  
"It's called 'All My Little Things', isn't it?", Niall probes further and gives him a look, Harry can't quite put his finger on it. He shrugs and lifts his shoulders a little defensively. He's not sure if he likes where this conversation is going.

"And I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth... because it's you, oh it's you, they add up to...", Niall starts singing and his voice is deeper than it used to be, isn't it, rougher, as well, but still as melodic as it ever was. The Irishman frowns down at him, blinks and closes his eyes for a second.  
"You miss the old times, too, don't you?"  
Harry doesn't reply.

***

Niall shows him around in his house, it's big and spacious, neat and not very personal. It's as if Niall doesn't spend much time here, Harry thinks and it makes his heart ache a little.  
"This is the music studio, I guess I'm here more than in my own bedroom", Niall laughs and points at the guitars lined up on the wall and the records pinned above them.  
"This evening a few people are coming over, you know Jan Casella? We're recording tonight and I guess you can stay if you want. It's-- It's nice having you around again, Haz--"

Harry's eyes widen. Jan Casella is the upcoming artist of the year with an incredible voice and smile to match. "You've written a song for JC?"  
Niall lifts his eyebrows and smirks. "I've basically helped him writing his whole album, if that's what you're asking."  
"That's-- that's amazing, Niall, I love Jan!", he exclaims and gives the other man a thumbs up.

Niall winks at him conspiratorially and says: "Well, then you're getting a little sneek peak of his new single, but shhh! Don't tell anyone!"  
"I wouldn't! I wouldn't!", Harry says seriously and gives Niall his most earnest facial expression.  
Niall laughs.

***

"If you're planning a reunion", Jan begins thoughtfully. "Then I can basically forget my career."  
He's the second person to bring this up and if Harry's honest, well, it kind of bothers him. A reunion. After seven years.

"Shut up and sing the chorus again, Janny Boy!", Niall silences the singer, who sends a pout into his direction and grunts a 'Fine, fine'.  
"You know, sometimes he's a dick.", Niall tells him and rolls his eyes. Jim, Loreen and Isaac agree. Harry thinks Isaac is the co-producer and the other two, well, they're just people working with Niall and Jan, too. Maybe. "But he's a dick with talent."  
Jim, Loreen and Isaac sigh and agree again.

***

They say goodbye to the four after Niall's satisfied with Jan singing the chorus over and over again. It turned out pretty good, in Harry's opinion, he'd definitely buy the song.  
"They didn't ask me any questions", Harry mentions while Niall makes them sandwiches and tea. Niall hums. "What exactly should've they asked you?"  
"Why I'm here, perhaps. If there really will be a reunion... what if they tell the press--"

Niall shakes his head. "Harry. They're my friends, they wouldn't do that. I trust them."  
"Yeah, well!", Harry crosses his arms in front of his chest. "My friends leaked my nudes and I trusted them, too!". That was a low blow and Harry knows it. The Irishman scoffs and places two plates and two mugs on the kitchen table Harry's sitting at.  
"Maybe those weren't your real friends, Haz."

His words hit Harry where it hurts. That was one of the reasons, wasn't it? Fake friends.  
"Look, I thought Kelly and Marco were--"  
"I know. We knew you thought. It's just. It's okay.", Niall sighs and rubs his face tiredly. "We've all made mistakes, haven't we? It's probably for the best to forget and move on."  
Harry knows that Niall and the other lads thought that the Baker twins were poison from the start, but he really liked Kelly and Marco and at first, they've been nice and supportive, they've been his friends.

"Hey Herri", Niall mocks Kelly's squeaky voice. "You wan' heng? Yeh I know you've rehearsals but I've get tickets for the Peckers game! I'll let you sheg me if you want, as well! He he he he he!", he groans. "What kind of accent was that even?!"  
Harry doesn't look at Niall as the man puts sandwiches onto their plates and fills tea into their mugs.  
They eat silently.

"Tell me more about Colin-- if you want, of course.", Harry breaks the silence as he finishes off his sandwich.  
"Oh! Uhm. He's my everything, to be honest. I'm not sure if he's very musical, but I'll try.", he laughs at that. "I mean, if he doesn't like it, then I won't force him to do anything he doesn't want. He likes action figures. And his mother. He adores her, I think... more than he adores me--"  
"Bullshit. I'm sure you're a great father and he loves you both equally.", Harry interrupts his former best mate before he can bring himself down.  
Niall looks up at him with big blue eyes. "Yeah, I hope so.", he says. "Do you want to stay the night?"

Harry bites his inner cheek. "If that's okay, I don't want to be a burden..."  
"You're not. I've got a guestroom prepared for when people want to sleep here overnight. Not a problem."

***

The guestroom is very close to Niall's actual bedroom and Harry kind of likes the proximity.  
"Today was great, I'm happy we met again.", Niall tells him at the door, giving him a new shirt and a towel. "Let's move on from the past yeah? Let's be mates again."  
Harry smiles timidly at him and nods. "That'd be nice. Good night, Nialler."  
"Good night, Haz.", Niall says. They stand in front of each other for another moment and Harry leans in to peck Niall's lips. Their second kiss this day. "See you tomorrow."  
Then he closes the door.

***

Harry wakes up from a nightmare. Bad memories of Kelly. Her lies. Her brother's lies. Lies, lies, lies. The lads have been right, they have, he knows now. The fame just. He never took himself for the fame thirsty person and he isn't. He wasn't. He was just blended by nice words and pretty eyes. He should've looked right through it. "Fuck", he mutters. "Fuck, fuck, fuck." Niall. Fuck. He needs--  
He crawls out of bed, cold bare feet tapping towards the door and into the hallway. He searches for Niall's bedroom and when he finds it, he opens it as quietly as possible. He's done this before, just not in this house, just not at the age of 27.

The light is dim, but bright enough so that Harry can see Niall sleeping peacefully in his bed. He looks angelic, he always has. With brown hair, with blond hair. It doesn't matter, it's still Niall.  
"Ni? Niall?", he whispers as he approaches the sleeping man. He gulps and bends down, patting Niall's cheek, who moans sleepily.  
The former blond opens his eyes to see what's going on in his bedroom right now, in the middle of the night. "H-Harry?"  
"Can I sleep with you? I've-- had a nightmare.", Harry admits hoarsely. Niall sighs and nods and pulls up the sheets, so that Harry can slide underneath them, pressing his body against Niall's.

Niall has always been the most patient and forgiving of them, there's always been place in his bed for the others, to cuddle, to soothe. That hasn't changed.  
He hums contentedly and engulfs his mate into a hug. "I've missed this, Niall."  
"Yeah", Niall replies, seemingly drifting off into dreamland again. "Yeah..."

Harry feels safer like this, with another person in his arms. He smiles a little.  
"Huh... you've shagged both of the Baker twins, right?", Niall wonders all of a sudden and Harry stiffens. He bites his lip as Niall turns in his arms to face him. "You have, haven't you?"  
The moon throws a melancholic shine onto their faces through the big window in Niall's bedroom.  
"Yes. Both.", Harry answers with a frown. "I'm into men, too. Niall. That wasn't a secret in the band--"

"No, it wasn't, I know.", Niall says and observes Harry's face with a stern glance. "Stop me if you don't want this."  
At first, Harry is confused, but then Niall pushes himself onto Harry and cradles his face with his hands. "You've always been some guy.", he breathes before he kisses him onto the lips, biting them softly. Harry can't help but let out a whiny moan, digging his fingers into Niall's hips as he returns the passionate kiss.

"Ngh, Niall, I--", he's out of breath when they part. "I don't-- I want this but-- I don't want our friendship to--", he says and he's hard, as hard as he hasn't been for years.  
"Yeah", Niall agrees with a strained voice. "Yeah, that's-- I'm-- yeah.", he rolls off Harry, palming his crotch through his boxers desperately. "It's just-- I'm going to, ugh, the bathroom--"

"No, stop, fuck--", Harry moans and places his hand on Niall's on the Irishman's tented boxer briefs. "Let me-- fuck, Niall--". He gets in between Niall's legs and pulls down his pants.

***

He's 27 years old and sucking his best mate's dick as if there is no tomorrow and well, maybe there isn't. Having Niall a blubbering mess, gripping his hair tightly, groaning with his mouth wide open, it's something entirely else. Something he's never quite experienced like that and it gets him off like nothing ever has. He comes hard without touching himself, just seconds after Niall's cum filled his throat.

"God, Harry, I--", Niall starts, but Harry shakes his head.  
"It's going to be alright in the morning."

***

"I've been in love with you at some point back then.", Harry says and stares into his coffee.  
"Hmh", Niall fries bacon and eggs for them. "Me too. But who wasn't in love with you - at some point - back then?"  
That is completely new to Harry, but the curly-haired man doesn't mention it. "You were?"  
Niall nods. "Yeah."

***

After they ate breakfast, they hear the door to Niall's house open.  
"I'm back, Niall!", they hear a woman shouting and the door closes again.  
"Hellooooo Mary-Ann!", Niall calls back with a smile plastered on his face. "I hope you had a good night's sleep!"  
Harry looks at Niall questioningly.

"She's my housekeeper. And sometimes Nanny for Colin, but she doesn't actually get paid for that, she just loves Colin.", Niall explains and shrugs nonchalantly.  
Harry can't help but think that she might do it to help Niall, too.

"I already bought groceries.", Mary-Ann tells them as she enters the kitchen. "Oh! You're still here, I see?"  
"He is", Niall smiles gently. "He might be here for a little longer."

***


	2. come over (stay here)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Niall", he sighs.   
> Niall looks at him and waits. "Hm?"  
> "I love you."  
> "No, you don't."  
> "You don't know that. Maybe I really do love you. You can't answer for me."

***

Leaving Niall's house two days ago had cost Harry a lot of courage and strength, but they promised to call each other, or at least to send a text. He wouldn't forgive himself if the contact with his former bandmember broke off again - he couldn't forgive himself ever. Harry loves Niall, he still loves him and it doesn't matter if his feelings are platonic or not, if Niall returns them or not, it doesn't matter, really. He just wants them to be friends again, mates, pals. Homies.

He pulls his phone out of his pocket and stares at it, contemplating if he should call, when it suddenly buzzes. Quickly, he opens it, to see if it's a message from Niall - which it isn't, unfortunately. It's just a tweet from, oh, Jan Casella. With a spark of interest, Harry clicks on it.

**Jan Casella (@J_Casy) tweeted:**   
**i love working with this guy! hug me, @NiallOfficial :) - JC**

Attached to the tweet is a picture of Jan actually hugging a fondly smiling Niall, who looks small and soft with his unstyled dark hair falling into his eyes. For a second there, Harry is unreasonably jealous, but he gets over it fast enough.   
Next thing, he clicks onto the replies, which all seem to say something like: " **JC you're the best! I love you, please follow me! x35** ", and Harry's glad that this still exists and he chuckles. His own fans got older, just like him, and they seem to have accepted that he won't follow them just because they send him hundreds of tweets demanding a follow.

Some of the replies are from former One Direction fans, though, as well. It kind of hurts, Harry's just not sure if it's in the bad or the good way.  
  
" **nialls just as hot as ever and if he was blond he would probably look a lil like uan niall with the hair down** ", and frankly, Harry has to agree. Then he sees, that someone responded to the girl.   
  
" **@babsthebae i know! i still haven't recovered from that tour and it's been like 10 years or sth!** "  
  
His eyes widen. Since the Up All Night tour... it's really been about nine or ten years. He gulps. Here they are, over twenty years old, even their fans. A lot closer to the thirty than anything else. He closes the app and takes a deep breath, filling his lungs with air. Harry needs to call Niall now, right now, this moment, now. He types in Niall's number and then his phone rings, waiting for an answer.

"Yeah, Niall Horan here?", and oh right, he changed his number. No caller ID anymore.

"H-Hey Niall, it's me. Harry. Styles.", he breathes and clears his throat immediately. "Hi.", he's so incredibly stupid.

  
"Ah! Yes, uh, hi Harry. What's the matter?", Niall responds and Harry knows already that this call isn't going to be anywhere near comfortable and familiar. Not like it used to be.

  
"Right. Uhm. I just saw the tweet? JC's tweet, I mean. The one with the picture.", very smooth, Harry. How old is he again? Fourteen? What's Niall going to think of him now? That he's a stalker?

  
"Oh, oh yeah. That's... we just finished for the day, you know, the album is almost finished and—", Niall says and coughs to interrupt himself. "He thought it's like an award for the success of the day. Or something. A picture on Twitter."

  
"That's great to hear, Niall. Tell Jan my... congratulations. To you, too, of course!", Harry is quick to add and he blushes over the phone. It's embarrassing.

  
"Thanks, Harry. That why you called?", he asks after a while, voice gentle and calm. Harry gulps.   
  
"Actu-uhm, actually I called because I wanted to—", yeah, Harry, what did you want again? "I called because... I wanted to know how... what you're doing?"

  
"I'm about to cook something for myself. I gave Mary-Ann the evening off and— yeah, Colin is at Hannah's parents house. I should think about buying a pet, or ask my cousin to live with me again.", Niall answers and it sounds melancholic, even if he tries to cover it with a laugh. "And you're here in... in London, still?"

"Yes", Harry replies, "I'm still here, I'm not going to leave— anytime soon. This is home, you know? Home."

  
"Home. England, yeah?", Niall says, "Right. Home.", Harry doesn't doubt that Niall's thinking about Ireland. Niall's real home. His roots. "Do you have a house here?", Niall wonders. "Somewhere you can stay?"

  
"I, well, I was thinking about buying a house again here, I don't— I don't know why I sold.. the other one... I'm often in the US, but— this is... still home."   
  
"So you're staying at a hotel?"   
  
"Yeah. Not even a luxurious one.", Harry grins. "Just a simple one. Simple."   
  
"Because you never lashed out on clothes or houses or hotels, yeah?"   
  
"That's... Niall, don't be rude. I had the money for it."   
  
"You bought a string to hang over your shoulders for over 300 Pound. And that gold watch—"   
  
"I still own these things! Didn't you tease me for it enough back in... 2014?", Harry grumbles, even though he knows Niall doesn't mean it like that.   
"I did, probably.", Niall agrees. "It's been so long. I missed this."   
"The easy banter?", Harry almost whispers and it hurts, something in his heart hurts, but he can't help it. "I miss it, too."   
  
"Yeah... yeah. Do you, uhm, want to come over? It's... I'm making Spagbol. So, if you're hungry—"   
  
"Yes, I'll... I mean. Yeah, I could eat. Can I come?", Harry asks a little too quickly and he's panicking. Niall won't take that the wrong way, will he? Harry doesn't want to sound overly eager, it's just.   
  
"Of course! Of course you can come, I invited you, didn't I? Otherwise I'd be all on my own."  
  
Harry smiles at Niall's words, feeling oddly relieved. It's strange that Niall is alone, seeing as he's always had company around him, as he's always been very popular and social. Maybe it's true, maybe fame and money do make you lonely at times. Harry can tell a thing or two about that feeling.

"Okay, then, I'll be over in, uhm, depends on the traffic—"

"I'll be waiting.", Niall chuckles and his voice is full of warmth and Harry's excited to see him again, like it's their first or second date and they're helplessly in love. "See you.", Harry says. "See ya.", Niall replies. They're not in love.

***

Harry hums into his noodles. "Delicious, Niall, you've become a great chef."   
Niall, on the opposite of the table, laughs and shakes his head lightly.   
"I've always been a great chef, Haz."

Haz, Harry thinks, yes, call me that, call me nothing else ever again.

Harry blushes into his noodles. He shouldn't be thinking like this, it's no good and it's getting him nowhere. They've kissed, after all, but that's not— it's not what it's supposed to be, is it?

"So, uhm, you and Jan Casella, how are things going?"

Niall looks up at him with a little frown. "Good, good. JC's great to work with, honestly, he's an amazing artist. Wouldn't want to change how things are at the moment."   
Harry smiles awkwardly. "That's nice to hear, Nialler.", he says and shoves another spoonful of Spaghetti into his mouth.   
Maybe Harry's clinging too hard at the past, it seems as if Niall and also the others have moved on a long time ago, but he just— he just kind of continued the way the world expected him to without changing much at all. Niall was right; he hasn't changed. Not really.  
  
Niall hums.   
  
"JC has brown eyes, they're very—", Harry stops for a second, "nice". A lot of things are nice, but the tension building up between him and Niall is not one of those things.   
"They're...", Niall says, "...Harry, what—" Harry doesn't know how to answer.   
  
"I, uhm, Jan's—" "He's a great guy, Harry. Great musician. Not my love interest."   
"I wasn't, that's not what...", Harry tries to defend himself, but he's shovelled his own grave.   
  
"I'm eight years older than him, he's not interested in me, I'm not interested in him. Right?" "I wasn't saying that there's anything between you two, I was only—"   
"You were only implying it, Harry, yeah?", Niall rolls his eyes, which Harry finds to be rather rude of him.

"If I was, then, well. Eight years isn't that much older, anyway, you're still fit as hell, there's no way Jan isn't attracted to you, damn, a bloody fish would be attracted to you!", Harry slams his fork onto the table a bit too forcefully. "Don't talk like you're a grandpa now, you're not even thirty!"

Niall looks surprised by Harry's sudden outburst, his cheeks are a bright pink. Harry loves Niall's pale complexion, he loves how easily he gets red, he wants to press his nose and lips against Niall's milky skin, he wants—

"What is it, that we have now? I sucked your dick, I— we kissed, Nialler, we kissed and I had your cum in my mouth, I fucking—", Harry shouts and he doesn't want to ruin this fragile friendship, but this is not how it can work. They need to work things out, not talking about the stuff that has happened doesn't make it better or undone.

"H-Harry, please, just—"

"No, Niall, I don't just, I'm going to talk now, okay? I'm going to say how it is. I like you, Niall, I like you a lot. I have liked you a lot since the band. I have not forgotten about you in the past couple of years. And this is not the kind of tragic love story you might think it is, now, I've had significant others in the meanwhile and I'm sure you know that. I haven't pined for you for seven years. I have, well, I have not. It was just a crush, an attraction, yeah? Like, remember wehn you said that you were attracted to me at one point back then? Same thing here. Only vice versa, you know?"

Niall blinks and nods.

"I have made albums since One Direction, I've been a solo artist, much like Zayn and Liam. You and Louis did your thing, too. I made some mistakes, you made some mistakes, we all did. Nobody's perfect.", he breathes deeply in and out. "We're all older now, we've found our ways, we're not young, dumb boys anymore. But the second I've seen you again, the second we hugged, it was all like in the beginning again. As if seven years and all our mistakes and problems haven't happened. I remembered everything I used to feel for you and it came back and it bit me in the bum. When I met Colin, it was just so— so unreal, I—"

Niall is suddenly next to him and wraps his arms around Harry, tightly and warmth surrounds the younger man. He doesn't want to lose Niall again, really, never again. Harry doesn't realise that there are tears rolling down his face, but then he's sobbing into Niall's shoulder and the former blond feels different than he used to. Niall's rougher than he used to be, somehow stronger and more masculine.

"It's all a bit much, isn't it? Come, let's go to the bedroom, let's cuddle for a while...", Niall whispers into his ear and Harry lets himself be lead into Niall's bedroom, onto the bed, under the sheets and Niall's there with him, Niall has an arm securely around him and it's so much comfort. Harry smiles a little and even giggles when Niall kisses away his salty tears.

"I'm sorry", Harry sniffs, "I didn't come here to yell at you and cry afterwards, I came here for dinner, I'm sorry, Nialler..."

"Shh, it's okay, you should let it all out, I understand, it's important to talk, Haz."

"It's so stupid, crying is just... I'm a grown man, I should be—"

"Even grown men cry, come on, Harry, you know that.", Niall kisses the corner of his mouth. Harry huffs, feeling patronised, as if he's a little child. He lets it slip, just this once.

"Niall", he sighs.

Niall looks at him and waits. "Hm?"

"I love you."

"No, you don't."

"You don't know that. Maybe I really do love you. You can't answer for me."

Niall chuckles. "True.", he caresses Harry's cheeks.

"How much longer will Colin stay at Hannah's?"

The Irishman shrugs. "A week, I think. It's Hannah's dad's birthay and they're celebrating."

"Without you?"

"He's never liked me anyway. It's okay.", but Niall's facial expression shows Harry that it's not okay at all. "I hope Colin has a good time."

"Hmh.", Harry traces the visible part of Niall's stomach with his finger, where Niall's shirt has ridden up. "Does that mean I can stay for a little while here? I told my agent I'd stay in London for a couple more days. Maybe we can talk in that time..."

"Just talk?", Niall asks, a teasing smile playing on his lips.

"What, you want me to suck you off again?", Harry squints at him.   
  
"No. No, let's really just talk. And cuddle. Revise the old times. Contemplate life."

"Okay.", Harry agrees and cuddles closer to Niall. "Can I be little spoon?"

"Course", Niall laughs lightly, "I'm big spoon."

Harry laughs along with Niall.

"We fit."

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first chapter was thought as a standalone, a One Shot, but here's a continuation! 
> 
> Tell me what you thought of the first chapter, since I put way more effort into that one. I wanted to continue it, though, so here we are. I'm no master author, but I enjoy wrtiting fanfiction. English's as always not my native language, so please excuse any mistakes!
> 
> There might be more chapters coming in the future. Stay alert!  
> Have a great day! x

**Author's Note:**

> English isn't my native language, so excuse my mistakes, but I hope you enjoyed this little something anyway!


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